Swanning About

For Hastings Independent

Swanning About

By Kent Barker

Here’s your starter for ten: where does the line: “Wear your hair long, babe you can't go wrong” come from?

Half marks if you identified T Rex’s Marc Bolan, and the full ten if you knew it was from Ride a White Swan.  One of those instantly recognizable tunes from 1970 and the cusp of Glam Rock.

This meander down memory lane is by way of introducing the “Swan Lake” pedalos at the Flamingo Amusement park on the East Beach.  For years I’ve driven, walked or cycled past them and always wanted to have a go.  They seem such an iconic image of Hastings.  Mind you they’re not confined to the town. Other attractions have them including Euro Disney, and you could even buy your own for around £2000, 

Don’t, however, try launching it on the Avon at Stratford. The council there recently banned swan pedalos on the grounds they were out of keeping with Shakespeare’s birthplace.  I personally wonder if it’s not more likely that they were worried that the real swans that proliferate might have become confused.  After all you don’t want the tourists frightened away by a real bird trying to mate, Zeus style, with a pedalo Leda do you?

Anyway, seeking some birthday amusement for my friends I approached Flamingo Park and asked if I could hire the ‘Swan Lake’ boating pond for an hour.  The manager was extremely accommodating and agreed to let me have ten swans at a discount.

The day dawned fine, the swans were lined up, bucks fizz was served from plastic flutes and in we clambered.  Then some realities dawned.  Firstly it’s quite hard work pedaling, especially as they seem designed for people with rather shorter legs. Secondly, should your foot slip off the pedal, there’s the danger of bruised ankles as the pedals keep on turning. Thirdly, steering is rather haphazard which is a problem because, fourthly, you can only use about a third of the lake without running aground.  Apparently the water is supplied from a tap (rather than by the more obvious solution of pumping sea-water up from the shore) and, whether for reasons of economy or flow, the pond is not sufficiently full.

Nevertheless a good time was had by all, though I think I’m unlikely to follow the makers of Swandown who pedaled all the way from Hastings to Hackney for a film project.