Dear Dear?

Countryside Column for 26 December

Reining in Dear Deer?

Now, who can name the eight reindeer that pulled Santa’s sleigh?  Anyone who says “Rudolph” gets a raspberry--or that horrible klaxon sound from QI.  The red-nosed one is a modern interloper who only appeared on the scene in 1939 in promotional material for a chain of US department stores.

No, as everyone should know, they are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Dunder and Blixem.  Immortalised in the wonderful 1823 poem by Clement C. Moore known as The Night Before Christmas (you remember it – “nothing was stirring, not even a mouse…”).

Well, Mr Moore has a lot to answer for.  Since he put pen to paper, reindeer have become THE animals associated with Christmas (apart from that donkey obviously). And it’s given rise to something of an industry around here.  Ads from a local farmer in our free sheet enjoin you to  ‘rent a reindeer’ for that special festive occasion – though, at £500 a pair for two hours, it seems a tad on the pricey side. Especially as you could buy your own animal for just £1,900.  Think about it, for the equivalent of less than eight individual reindeer rentals you could have your own Rudoph (or Dasher, Dancer etc) to keep in your field or back garden to the delight of your children and the envy of your neighbours.

Except that – and you just knew I was going to spoil the whole fantasy didn’t you? – except that keeping reindeer in Britain can be extremely damaging to their health. According to the Veterinary Deer Society, they are herd animals and pine if kept singly or in pairs. In the wild they range over thousands of miles and so captivity is bad for them. As is a diet of grass, so don’t leave them grazing on the lawn. And they’re used to Arctic winters, so it’s rather too hot round here.  Plus, they are prone to parasites and excessive hoof growth. Oh yes, and there’s the little problem of avoiding those dangerous antlers when your new pet is feeling a bit boisterous in the rutting season.

Despite all this, apparently we have been importing reindeer in ever increasing numbers since quarantine for them was relaxed a few years back.  They may look picturesque in Christmas tableaux, but overall they are probably not the best choice of pet. So please remember, a reindeer is not just for Christmas!