Former
Parliamentary and Political reporter Kent Barker considers whether our
Westminster Parliament is in any way: Fit
for Purpose?
Hastings Independent 20.02.15
In theory anyone can enter the
“Palace” of Westminster in order to lobby their MP or sit in the “Strangers”
Gallery and watch proceedings in the chamber below.
In practice it’s extremely difficult
to get through the layers of security.
But if you do, finally, manage to make it as far as the central lobby, you’d
be forgiven for thinking you’d gone through a worm-hole into an alternate
dimension.
It’s not just Barry’s ornate
building nor Pugin’s utterly over-the-top
‘gothic revival’ interior design.
It’s not just the statues of long-dead monarchs, nor the mosaics of patron
‘saints’ of the four nations of the United Kingdom. It’s the dozens of morning-coated
functionaries scurrying about like Lewis Carroll’s White Rabbit. It’s the Black Rods, Serjeants at Arms,
Trainbearers, Principal Doorkeepers and all the other utterly anachronistic
officials.
To some this may be charming.
British eccentricity, based on centuries of history and tradition as befits the
“mother” of parliaments (not that mothers are especially welcome in this
parliament). But I think it has a
corrosive effect on those that most matter – our elected representatives.
When you go to the polls on May 7th
(assuming you do) I imagine you imagine you’ll be voting for a member of the
human race who can think and behave independently and who will represent your
views without fear or favour. And how
wrong you will be. Your MP will be
sucked into the extraordinary world of Westminster and will swiftly lose pretty
much all touch with reality.
To start with he or (just possibly,
but pretty unlikely) she will seldom see daylight. From their office probably
in Portcullis house they will use an underground passageway to traverse Bridge
Street to the ‘palace’. Once there
they’ll get lost in the two miles of corridors and 1000 rooms. They’ll dine in
one of the 28 different food outlets there and drink in one of the eight bars.
They’ll leave sartorial individuality behind. Men can’t speak in the commons
unless wearing a jacket and tie. Jeans
are verboten. Women must dress in “smart
business-like attire”. Green Party MP
Caroline Lucas was told to cover up her T-shirt emblazoned with the message “No
More Page Three” during a debate on media sexism.
When I was working in the press
gallery MPs had to don a collapsible top ‘opera’ hat to make a point of order
during a debate and the speaker habitually wore court dress and wig.
But officials wearing anachronistic
fancy dress and a ‘school-uniform’ for elected members is not the worst of
it. The real problem is the
inward-looking bubble in which they are trapped. It’s often referred to as the Westminster
“Village”. And just outside the main St
Stephen’s Entrance is the village green. It’s actually called College Green and
it’s a narrow strip of grass between Westminster Abbey and the various media
offices in Milbank. There television
cameras congregate and ‘hon. members’ are drawn as if by a powerful magnet.
I’ve often seen uninvited politicians, desperate for exposure,
sidling up to producers or reporters claiming to have been booked for an
interview but not able to remember by which channel! We used to expend a few minutes of video tape
on them just in case they’d stick the knife into their party or leader. Usually they were just appallingly sycophantic.
(Though the late Tory MP Sir Julian Crichley gave me a
memorably excoriating interview on the downfall of Thatcher).
But
generally it’s a cosy old-boy arrangement with ministers whispering bile to
political correspondents on ‘lobby’ (anonymous) terms in the hope of climbing
another foot up Disraeli’s ‘greasy pole’.
And because they exist in such close proximity, occasionally mass
hysteria takes over and they rush around like demented chickens looking for journalists
to hand them a knife for self-decapitation.
Hacks usually refer to it as a ‘febrile’ atmosphere and it’s something
to behold. Great for selling newspapers or gaining TV viewers, but pretty poor
for the democratic process.
So
why not make some radical changes? Build
a proper parliament, designed and fit for the purpose (preferably out of
London). Reform the hours MPs sit (say 9-5 Tuesday to Thursday), provide proper
child care facilities. Give them proper offices and efficient paid-for
secretarial support. Abolish the
confrontational two-sided chamber and substitute a modern circular assembly
room with seats for everyone who’s elected.
They managed it in Scotland. They
do it in Brussels and Strasbourg. Return
some dignity to British politics. And if you want a really radical idea – make
voting secret and abolish whipping! Then, and only then, might it actually be
worth turning out to vote. Oh, and you can pay for it all by opening the old
palace up to tourists.
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