Bureauocracy with a Welsh Accent

Countryside column for 23 May 2014

Rejection renders tractor barely legal

I’m used to rejection.  Writers have to inure themselves to it.  But I confess that when the bulging brown envelope arrived in the post I was a bit downhearted. This wasn’t another manuscript being returned by an agent or publisher.  No, this was worse. 

            Regular readers may remember a while ago I bought a red tractor.  It was about 40 years old – which is relevant as we shall see. It had been happily rotting away in a field when, in a fit of excessive enthusiasm, I parted with a fistful of readies and got it taken to my local garage.  The thing about John is that I don’t think he really likes cars that much.  But tractors, that’s a different matter. The older and rustier the better. So only few months later he had it going and, more importantly, stopping and delivered it back to me. Now to make it legal…

            Tractors are an anomaly. They don’t require an MOT.  Nor do they need Tax if used only on private land.  There’s even a ‘limited use’ exemption for journeys of up to 1.5 kilometres on public roads.   But I wanted my tractor fully legal so I filled in the requisite forms and sent them back with my cheque. That’s when it all started to unravel.

            I’m a sucker for a Welsh accent so I may have been listening to the cadence rather than the content. But what I think the lady from the DVLA told me was that, because my tractor was imported from Czechoslovakia, VAT may be due. “But I didn’t import the tractor.  It’s been here for 40 years.”  “Doesn’t matter you need a Notification of Vehicle Arrivals - NOVA -  before we can register it.” 

            OK, another set of forms.  No problem.  Except that I didn’t have most of the information.  Particularly the year of manufacture.  But the 4718 model was only made between 1972 and 1978. Good enough surely?  Well yes and no.  Good enough for Customs and Excise who gave me the NOVA and certified no VAT was due.  But not for the DVLA who sent back my application and cheque. For the second time. 

So how to find the vital date? Online at the Zetor owners club perhaps.  But the website is mainly in Czechoslovakian.  I’ve posted a plea for help. Will I get an answer?  Will it be in English?  Watch this space.